Unwarranted Abuse

I read with shock and horror the comments posted recently to a Motherlode posting on the NYT site about one woman's first-hand experience adopting a girl with special needs from China. (Full disclosure: my sister works for this person, Jenny Johnson, at Hometta. I've only met Jenny once.) Granted, any comments list on any blog in any corner of cyberspace tends to be populated with at least biting acerbity, if not malignant slander. But Jenny, whose contribution I found quite moving, is actually going through the effort of adopting a girl with scoliosis all the way from China. And trust me, counter to some of the commenters' suggestions, this little girl would not be better off if she stayed in China, even if that would spare her the culture shock of intercountry adoption.

Many of the critics attacked Jenny for what they viewed as her shallow motives for wanting to adopt, specifically, a girl: Jenny wrote that she has always wanted to use her grandmother's name, Rosemary, for one of her children. But, alas, she had two boys. Now, I can understand why such pronounced gender preferences can irk, and the fact that she can remedy the absence by paying the sky-high administrative fees (which does not equal "buying") to adopt from China may feel . . . inegalitarian. But isn't there a counter-proverb (because there always is one) to "The road to hell is paved with good intentions?" (And why can't I think of it at the moment?) I also do not buy the argument that she could have much more easily adopted from the same special needs population domestically when so many parents choose to adopt from abroad precisely because domestic adoption is a time-bomb-like logistical nightmare.

So, go Jenny! Don't be too upset about the commenters - they can't even tell "complement" and "compliment" apart, so they must not be able to help themselves. I hope you and your family are having the experience of a lifetime on your trip to welcome Rosemary into your home.